I need to go to smokier bars

Now I see my problem.

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the room's smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula.

The formula can work out a final score, ranging from less than one - where there is no beer goggle effect - to more than 100.

Nathan Efron, Professor of Clinical Optometry at the University of Manchester, said: "The beer goggles effect isn't solely dependent on how much alcohol a person consumes, there are other influencing factors at play too.

"For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 metres away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect."

The research was commissioned by eyecare firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision.

A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted.

A formula rating of less than one means no effect. Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive".

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100. At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a super model.

This is making me rethink my strategy. Nick's Ice House is becoming more appealing with each moment.

Walk the Line: Not quite movie of the year

I watched Walk the Line, and enjoyed it greatly. I thought that the performances by Phoenix and Witherspoon were top-shelf, easily the best of either of their careers. However, I had some serious problems with the film, particularly in the way that Cash's relationships with other musicians were handled, as well as the concert in Folsom Prison.

The lead-in to the concert at Folsom is Cash fingering the blade of a saw in the prison wood shop, and reminiscing about how he came to that spot. It's a powerful image indeed. But the payoff (half of one song, "Cocaine Blues") and the famous line from the album about how it was being recorded, so he couldn't say hell, or shit, or anything like that, is insubstantial. Cash's career came soaring back with the show at Folsom, and although the movie is about how the love of a good woman restored the good that seemed to die with his older brother, it's also about how his music made him lovable.

Or so it seems, until you take the most iconic moment of his career and dash it all to pieces. The rule is "enter late, leave early." In the case of Folsom, the film didn't enter late enough, and left far too early.

EDIT: My cousin (the Cabbage) thought this was a negative review.

I swear, it's positive. Positive, damn you!